i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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