White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Someone came in the potted fern
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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