its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
