I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
