she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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