we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
