I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
