Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
