Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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