Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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