i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
