I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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