none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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