they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize