no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
