Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
