I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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