My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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