when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
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