Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
bring money and cleavage
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
