i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize