I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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