**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
