Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
