I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
