it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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