you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
