She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
