I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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