If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
