She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
