so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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