I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
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