he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
