If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I don't deserve a penis
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
