My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
