Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
