My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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