i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize