do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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