i need an iv and a liver transplant
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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