there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
