Will you blow on my dice?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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