Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
