I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Randomize
