Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
