you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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