Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
