and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
