Whatcha textin bout Willis?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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