at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
