Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
