i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
