I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
