Non-Jews are for practice
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
