There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
