You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
