Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
