so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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