1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
