Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
