Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I didn't notice because vodka
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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