At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Shame - the story of my life.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
