Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
