i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
