You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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