I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
