I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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