I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize